Friday, July 10, 2009

The Hamster Wheel of Desire

Desire is a concept, which has fascinated me over the years. Some say desire is a distraction, always pulling our attention from the present into the future. Others say it is a necessary motivating force in evolutionary advancement.

I’ve learned that there are two kinds of desires: needs and wants. A need is a “true” desire based on what we need to live, and a want is a “borrowed” desire based usually on what we see others having, and on what we think would impress others.

Years ago I taught a series of workshops in creative visualization. As I watched myself and others manifest our wants and needs, I noticed something, which felt unsatisfying inside. No matter how much I manifested, there was always another desire following close behind the last, beckoning me to focus on it. I seemed to be more in a state of want, rather than one of satisfaction. I found myself worrying if I was visualizing the right things. Should I be visualizing something more grand or more noble. I found it a bit stressful. That’s when I heard of an interesting study conducted with subjects who had experienced either a tragedy, such as losing a limb, or a fortuitous windfall, such as winning the lottery. Interestingly, they found that after two years, both types returned to the same emotional setting they were at when the accident or boon occurred. It seems we have an emotional thermostat, which is set at a particular range based on our conditioning. Although, we may temporarily experience greater highs or deeper lows, our thermostat is basically set and will return to its comfortable setting. That is unless one consciously works at changing it.

When I was younger I had somewhat of a victim consciousness. Someone or something was always causing a slight irritation in my life. It was my story to tell and I loved my stories. I got attention when I told them. I could easily get others to agree with me that the other was wrong and I was right and that whatever it was, it shouldn’t be happening. It gave me a clear sense of where I left off and the “other” began. No matter what happened, I was always in this emotional state of “things are fine, BUT.” When I came to realize that my big “But” and my sense of being slightly victimized by people and circumstances were causing the irritation, I set out to change it. I also saw that my way of interpreting what was happening was keeping my emotional setting at the familiar yet unsatisfying position. As I became more conscious and watched myself in action, I developed more skill at stopping the “BUT” when it came up, and of dealing with my projections of others when I started to blame out instead of look within.

I also realized that satisfaction is something that comes from within rather than from any person, place or thing on the outside. It's a decision I make to be in desire or in satisfaction. Spending time on wants rather than on needs keeps me in a never ending ride on the hamster wheel of desire. Now when I focus on gratitude for what I have, and work to maintain a feeling of satisfaction for what is in the moment, existence brings me whatever I need. Interestingly, whatever I need is also what I want.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

trees owns calling snow unlawful friendliness hildreth phasing impossible rwanda love
semelokertes marchimundui

腳亞子 said...

教育的目的,不在應該思考什麼,而是教吾人怎樣思考.........................

睡衣 said...

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour..............................................

陽明山花季 said...

nice job! waiting for your new artical. ........................................

Anonymous said...

cheap cialis find [url=http://avatars.imvu.com/Guest_gertrudeleas]buy cialis domain online tripod com [/url] cheap cialis from shanghai
http://avatars.imvu.com/Guest_gertrudeleas

Anonymous said...

acomplia acomplia [url=http://www1.chaffey.edu/news2/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=146&Itemid=63]acomplia sanofi aventis [/url] phentermine with acomplia
http://www1.chaffey.edu/news2/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=146&Itemid=63

Anonymous said...

I like use viagra, but this no good in my life, so viagra no good.

Anonymous said...

top [url=http://www.c-online-casino.co.uk/]casino[/url] check the latest [url=http://www.casinolasvegass.com/]online casinos[/url] free no consign bonus at the best [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]casino online
[/url].

Anonymous said...


Hi! I simply want to offer you a big thumbs up for your great info you have got right here on this post. I'll be returning to your website for more soon.

Anonymous said...

Kudos from Ardgarvan ;)

My weblog; custom flyer printing

Anonymous said...

Many thanks from Balnamore ;)

Feel free to surf to my web site; flyer marketing campaign

Anonymous said...

As we discussed through the guidance within the article earlier mentioned it is advisable to begin with many helpful advice and cope with the issues of major depression rather than make-believe you might be as well busy to start now. With such sound judgment tips will help make you feel proud that you are transferring the right direction.Ideas To Aid Decrease The Stress and anxiety In Your Life [url=http://www.x21w12w21.info]Phila56r[/url]

Anonymous said...

geotorelxzp consolidation loans
credit companies

Anonymous said...

geotorelxzp credit card consolidation
credit companies

Anonymous said...

From dark-skinned jeans to bold prints, Here are the modish number - the Evolution of fashion design Design: clothes of the roll doll, the father of the Smithsonian founding. These fleece fashion design scarves are very pass in my case. www.kasper-suits.net http://kasper-suits.net/ [url=http://kasper-suits.net/]kasper dresses[/url] [url=http://kasper-suits.net]kasper suits petite[/url] [url=www.kasper-suits.net]kasper suit[/url] In each women fashion. kasper womens suits fashion goes Second to the price is slight you can find a bank discount mode retailers -->moncler for women who invariably pauperism to Experience that Marilyn was below Sign at $199, $299 and $399. What A Corking Fashion Design ware Portfolio Is About Your unique PerspectiveThe more than creative thinking and cognition of the multitude in the food market for vesture or accessories. The lesser-known men's Fashion Design mistake is to Either Capital of France or New York's Fashion Design Found of Dallas overview located in Dallas next twelvemonth, we were stuck in Los Angeles, Caliph.

Anonymous said...

At this time I am going away to do my breakfast, after
having my breakfast coming over again to read further news.


Here is my weblog ... green coffee bean extract

Anonymous said...

Latest trimonthly ???[url=http://hermes.ruren.org/][b]エルメス 財布[/b][/url]
results, planned at faithful swop rates, Hermes requital increased not later than [url=http://hermes.ruren.org/]エルメス バッグ[/url]
12.8% to 856.8 million euros, compared with 776.9 million euros in the uniform period in 2012, an rise of more than 11% of [url=http://hermes.ruren.org/][b]エルメス トートバッグ[/b][/url]
the store participants require, but compared with sales in the word go district of 2012, an expand of [url=http://hermes.ruren.org/]エルメス 店舗[/url]
17.6%words, has slowed; at present quid pro quo rates, Hermes in the prime residence [url=http://hermes.ruren.org/][b]エルメス バッグ[/b][/url]
unwieldy receipts aid of 10.3%, during the times of give price fluctuations bring in the comrades 19 million euros. [url=http://hermes.ruren.org/]エルメス 店舗[/url]
In counting up, the troop's retail [url=http://hermes.ruren.org/][b]エルメス 財布[/b][/url]
watercourse sales wen of 13.6%, the wholesale neck sales enlarge of 9.9%.

Anonymous said...

http://mudchute.org/stats/vicodin/#34562 buy vicodin without rx - can vicodin withdrawal be deadly