Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Byron Katie

Bryon Katie has a new book out with her husband Stephen Mitchell called, "A Thousand Names For Joy". In this book, she responds to excerpts from Mitchell's translation of the "Tao Te Ching" by Lao Tzu. She personalizes each of the concepts to such an extent that it brings a wonderfully refreshing and accessible perspective to these timeless gems of wisdom. Her approach to life is from a place of wholeness. Neither good and bad nor right and wrong exist for her. She sees everything as just right and the present moment as a beautiful gift. Even death is seen with understanding and as a natural part of the whole of existence.

Reading her new book brings chuckles out loud regarding subject matter that would otherwise seem too tragic to laugh about. I was relating one of her stories this morning to my tai chi class. As I mentioned, with a giggle, that as a result of occasional blindness from a degenerative eye disease, she falls down on the floor, one of my students says, “That’s not very nice to be laughing about!” “Oh, but that is just the point,” I said. She falls down and thinks, “Ah, I guess it’s time to rest.” She then proceeds to enjoy the feeling of the cool floor, the melodious sound of the phone ringing and the rhythm of the knock at the back door. She just doesn’t find a problem anywhere.

I had the delightful and truly awesome opportunity to meet and spend time with her, riding in a car, walking together and over lunch. She is beautiful beyond words. Doing her work over the past 12 years has made a phenomenal difference in my life, from thinking I had to create and control myself and others to allowing life to flow through me with a joyful witnessing and gratitude.

If you haven’t had the experience of seeing her in person or reading her books, make it a must-do. As Eckhart Tolle says, “Byron Katie’s Work is a great blessing for our planet. The root cause of suffering is identification with our thoughts, the ‘stories’ that are continuously running through our minds. Byron Katie’s Work acts like a razor-sharp sword that cuts through that illusion and enables you to know for yourself the timeless essence of your being. Joy, peace, and love emanate from it as your natural state.”

Find out when and where you can see her in action, or at least find and read her books. She has three books: "Loving What Is", "I Need Your Love, Is That True?", and "A Thousand Names For Joy". You can also check out her website: www.thework.com

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Two Tales

Neil, a friend and former student of mine, and I were discussing the lesson of a Zen/Taoist tale. Neither of us could remember the actual tale but the lesson was that happiness/contentment/peace was to be found within. Neil, in trying to recall it, described it like this: A man is discontent with his life so he keeps moving to different places in search of peace, only to find he's never satisfied. The ending alludes to the fact that his problem would never be solved by where he goes, because the problems are inside of him and can only be solved by his own awakening to the Truth. That no matter how hard he looked outwardly, he would still only find what he was looking for, within. I was searching my brain for the actual tale, which I have failed so far, but in the search I recalled this one and another favorite story of mine on a similar but slightly different theme.

The first one is about a traveller who wanders into the outskirts of a town and upon seeing an old man sitting along side the road, approaches him and asks, "What are the people like in this town?" The old man answers with a question, "Tell me, what were they like in the town from whence you came?" "They were rude and unfriendly and I really didn't like it there!" the traveller answers. "Oh," says the old man, "I"m afraid that's what you will find here, too." So the traveller sits down with the old man along side the road to think about where to go next. After a short while, along comes another traveller who approaches the old man with the same question. Again the old man answers, "What were the people like in the town from whence you came?" "Oh," answers the second traveller, "they were wonderfully friendly people. "Ah," says the old man, "that's just what they are like here!"

The second tale is a story about a man who has fallen out of love with his wife and goes to the minister of his church to ask for advice on what to do with his situation. He tells the minister that he no longer loves his wife and is suffering so because he doesn’t want to break up his family and yet since he doesn’t love her anymore, the only thing he can think of to do is divorce her.

“Oh,” says the minister, “the thing to do to solve the problem is to love her!” “But, that’s just it,” says the husband, “I don’t”. “Yes,” says the minister, “I know, that’s the problem. You don’t love her. You must love her to solve the problem.” The husband doesn’t understand. The minister explains, “You think love is a noun, something you find or fall into. But love is a verb. It is something you give or extend to another. If you start to extend love to her, you will begin to feel love for her again. What you give is what you feel. You started out loving her and so you felt love. If you want to solve your problem, go and give her love."

I remember the “aha” I experienced when I first heard that story. Love feels automatic at first as if we just “fall” into it. A little later, the ego steps in and starts to judge whether this person is worthy of our love. We begin to judge everything they do because we are projecting our own lack of self-love on the other. In Truth, there is nothing but love. Love is what we are. An enlightened being sees only the beloved in whomever they look upon. It is only the ego choosing to exclude. Of course, we have our personal preferences in terms of who shares our values and interests, but love, in the true sense of the word, does not leave a soul out.

Think of how wonderful we would all feel if we never stopped loving, if we just changed the nature of our relationships when they no longer fit our values or interests, but kept on loving and honoring the other. We all grow and change and sometimes in very different ways. Sometimes it is necessary to reactivate the love and renew the relationship. Sometimes it is necessary to let go of a relationship as it is, but keep the love.

Thursday, February 1, 2007

The Deadly Comfort Zone

We are so addicted to our comfort zones. Rare is the person who has the courage to live their potential and express his or her innate or cultivated gifts. As it says in the Gospel of Thomas, “That which is within us and expressed will set us free. That which is within us and not expressed will eat us inside.” If we don’t express our gifts, they will wither. We lose what we don’t use.

We are so much greater than we think we are. We have unlimited support that we rarely tap into. We settle for so much less than we have available to us. We shortchange ourselves, and our creator by not living as expanded as we can, all in the name of comfort and fear of stepping out of that zone. Unfortunately, what we call the comfort zone is the zone that will eat us inside.

I know, all too well, that zone that can eat us inside. I also know the feeling of stepping out of the zone, the fear as well as the exhilaration of doing so. That comfort zone feels pretty good for a while, especially if life has been challenging. Yet, it never stays comfortable. The urge to grow and evolve is a pull from a force much larger than our mini-me self. If we resist that pull we experience the wrath of that force. Our creator does not want to be held back from expanding us into who we are meant to be. Our bodies, our minds, our emotions all speak out when we ignore our inner urge to fly.

If we pay attention to what we desire, to what our hearts ache for, we get a clue to what we are here for. We all know deep within us what that is, but most of us are so distracted from that place of knowing that we spend our lives just getting by. Imagine living your life feeling as if everything you do is just what you want to be doing. Imagine a world where everyone is doing just what we want. Why would we live any differently? Why are so many of us living lives of drudgery? I believe it is because we are afraid to step up to the plate and swing. We are conditioned to believe that we are unworthy, too young, too old, not smart enough…the list goes on and on. But it’s not true! We are all worthy or we wouldn’t be here. Our dreams want us as much as we want them.

I believe all disorders whether physical, emotional or mental stem from the withering of potential, our dreams unlived. Our bodies try to tell us, our emotions try to tell us, but we often fail to listen. Imagine if we spent our time, moment by moment, listening to our hearts and, coming from integrity, acted on what our hearts were calling for. We are all ONE expressing, as leaves on a tree express their individual selves. Just as the leaves are part of the same tree, dependent on the force of the tree for their lives, we are all dependent on the same force, which animates our lives. Why would a force, which animates us, not want to be expressed fully? When we allow the force to move through us expressing, we experience enormous power and flow. It’s not in our strategies and manipulations that we find our way, but in our surrender, allowing the Divine Force to do its thing!